1 in 88

When my daughter was diagnosed with autism, I felt completely blindsided.  I was prepared for all kinds of other issues, and even though autism affects so many kids, I had never really thought of it as a possibility with my own child.

I knew that I could have a child and there could be an accident at any time.  I saw things like that all to often working in the Pediatric ICU.  I also didn't count out the fact that I could have a child with a heart issue or who developed cancer.  I saw those things often as well.  Even with the multitude of different diagnoses that I saw each day, I never even considered autism as a potential issue.  

I vividly remember a day, not long after my daughter had been diagnosed, that I was working in the Neonatal ICU.  I was in a back room (thank goodness), and I was feeding and rocking a baby that had down's syndrome.  I remember just looking at the baby with tears streaming down my face, thinking, "People will always know that something is different about you".  I never thought that I would feel jealous over the fact that my child only had a developmental delay instead of having a physical problem.  I was sad that my child would always be looked at as a brat, not a child with a disability.  When others observe my child, they just look at her like she is weird or at me like I am a bad parent.  No one ever thinks, "that child must have a developmental disorder".  If she had some type of physical deformity as well, others would probably think differently about her.

A child with a physical deformity often receives more understanding from the general public.  A child with autism usually gets dirty looks due to their "bad" behavior.  My husband tends to get somewhat embarrassed when my daughter throws a fit in public.  Since she looks normal, we as parents tend to try to prevent her from acting up, or we feel that we have to explain our child's diagnosis to random bystanders.  It is as if when the strangers  understand that something really is different, then we will not look like slacker parents, and our daughter will not look like a brat.  

Sometimes though, I don't feel like explaining anything to anyone.  I feel like I should be able to go out and not have to worry about the opinions and rude looks given to us by others.  I have seen these shirts that you can get for your child to wear that say, "I'm not misbehaving, I have autism".  I think that it is great for others to recognize that something is different, but this also can call unnecessary attention to the child.

It is my hope that one day people will be more accepting.  If more education is given to the general public, I believe that society as a whole will rally around these children.  But, if I as a medical professional didn't really know the first thing about autism, how in the world will the rest of society ever learn enough to be able to accept the one in eighty-eight babies that are born who will eventually be diagnosed with autism?