One of Those Days

Have you ever had one of those days where your kids are driving you absolutely crazy?  

You know, I am usually able to keep it together fairly well.  My four year old whines or screams for no known reason (she has autism), and I will give my level headed calm response of "use your words," or "calm down, it's ok".  Or my 11 month old is really clingy and fussy, and I will rock him or sing to him or play peek a boo just to keep him happy.  Pretty much, I do the normal "good mom" things and it's all good.  But sometimes there are those days where I want to pull my hair out and run down the street screaming.  Those days when if feel like if I hear one more whiny little voice I am going to lose my mind.  I don't of course, but I feel like it.  It's kinda hard to admit that I have these feelings, but I am sure there are other moms out there that feel the same way.  

Sometimes when things get to be too much, I go into the bathroom just to have a mommy timeout.  Of course that doesn't stop my kids, or my husband for that matter, from talking (or whining) at me through the door.  But at least I get a couple of minutes to take a few deep breaths and attempt to get re-centered (that's what they used to call it when I went to yoga class anyway).  Once in a blue moon, I wait for the kids to go to bed, and I go to the store all by myself.  What a treat, right.  I don't care if it is the department store or the grocery store, just being able to spend a little time kid and husband free is refreshing.  As a mom, I need to spend some time all by myself every once in a while.  It makes me a better mom.  It makes me a better wife too.  I am able to appreciate my kids and husband more and focus on how I can be my best for them. 

 

When my daughter was younger, I joined some Mommy groups.  I wanted to get to know other moms who had kids my age, and I wanted my daughter to have someone to play with.  All too quickly I realized that these types of groups were not for me.  I felt like I didn't measure up to the supermoms whose kids were perfectly behaved, who had a perfect dinner prepared every night for there wonderful husbands, and  who would show up at any given event with cookies or cupcakes that they had just "whipped up" that morning on a whim.  It also didn't help when my daughter wasn't well behaved, and didn't reach milestones like the rest of the kids.  The other moms just looked at me like I was doing something wrong.  I never felt supported or encouraged.  I just felt judged.  I look to this blog as somewhere that moms can vent their true feelings without judgement.  I want to support other non perfect moms out there. 

I think that it is ok for we women to admit that we don't necessarily have it all together.  I think that we should reach out to each other and let each other know that you are not alone in feeling like you are going to lose it sometimes.  Maybe if we moms were more honest in how we really feel, we wouldn't feel so alone in the day to day grind of life.